I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
