i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize