You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize