You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize