no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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