Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
FUCK WHALES
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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