I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
