I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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