3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
