just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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