thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
