So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
