brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
