my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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