thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize