butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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