Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
