Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
