I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
