What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Fuck appropriateness.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
