why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
