Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
