They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
