if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
50% drunk capacity currently
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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