I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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