Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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