direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
