I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
