Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
