everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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