And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You took a bar mat shot.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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