I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
