Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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