PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
