Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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