the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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