sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
