I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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