We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
