I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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