is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
