no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
