why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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