Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
