just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dick very happy bro
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
