Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
