so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
