we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
