Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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