So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
