just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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