my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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