1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize