Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
