Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
