ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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