Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
