Can i not drive my cunt home
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
