it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize