3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
